• british people: better stop off at the next motorway services since i've been driving for 3 hours, which is 1 hour more than the highway code recommends!!
  • americans: yeah it's a pretty short drive only like 47 hours if i don't stop

"I only give blowjobs to Luke on weekdays because I’m not a slut."

Michael Clifford. (via fivesosfacts)

(via luke-is-leisuring)

inspired by x x

(Source: ashtcnsirwin, via hotdamn5sos)


As it should be

(via craicgslist)


How puppies help when you’re sick.

(via jjsmybae)




i’ll be like 40 w/no kids and people will say “aw i’m so sorry for you” and i’ll be like how was the fucking wiggles reunion tour asshole i went to italy last week for fun and didn’t have to hire a sitter

This is a very sad mentality. To think oneself more important than that of progeny is the sign of a failed human life.

so the wiggles concert wasn’t as good as you thought it would be huh

(via hellaharreh)


i just want a boy to like me

no not that one

(Source: loganlermen, via luke-is-leisuring)


oh man ok apparently this kid at our school saw a kitten before getting on the bus so he just. picked it up. and stuffed it in his hood and he had it in the hood the entire day and it just took naps and he fed it his milk during lunch and every time the cat meowed one of the other kids would like cough or sneeze or shuffle so the teacher couldnt hear it and he even let it walk around on the tables in one class and the teacher never saw it it was so precious life is amazing

(Source: kazzarole, via luke-is-leisuring)

(Source: freshjesy, via alexgaiskarth)


I hate when boys say “let’s chill”
What the fuck is chill? I’m a grown ass woman I don’t chill. You buying me dinner? I like steak.

(via alexgaiskarth)


Jimmy reads some #AwkwardBreakup tweets. 

(via jjsmybae)


I was talking to my friend on the phone and then she almost got run over and i was obviously really concerned so i asked her if she was okay and after a moment she replied “there is a Jesus in the sky” in a really matter-of-fact sort of way
so obviously I thought something was seriously wrong butimage

(via breathetheocean99)

Truman_Black: Why do people take so long in aeroplane toilets? is it cos of the time difference? 

(Source: smellslikexocolate, via 5soslore)